Raising Stoics
Data · Resilience and bouncing back

About 1 in 6 young children don't usually bounce back quickly when things go wrong

The National Survey of Children's Health asks parents of young children about four everyday signs of flourishing. Almost all children smile, show affection and are curious. Bouncing back after a setback is the one that lags.

Smiles and laughs99%Affectionate and tender with parents or caregivers96%Shows interest and curiosity in learning new things96%Bounces back quickly when things do not go their way83%All four signs of flourishing79%

Share of US children aged 6 months–5 years who usually or always show each sign (parent report). Source: CDC, Children's Mental Health data (National Survey of Children's Health 2023–2024, via the Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative Data Resource Center) · Public domain (U.S. Government work); NSCH data courtesy of CAHMI, childhealthdata.org. Chart: Raising Stoics — free to embed with credit.

What the data shows

  • Almost all young children usually smile and laugh (99%), are affectionate with the people who care for them (96%) and are curious about new things (96%).
  • Bouncing back quickly when things don't go their way is the clear outlier: 83% usually or always do, so about one child in six usually doesn't yet.
  • 79% show all four signs — so bouncing back is what most often keeps a child out of the "flourishing" group.

What it means for parents

If your child takes a long time to recover when a tower falls or a game is lost, that's common at this age — recovery is the skill that develops last. It grows with practice on calm days: a named feeling, a pause, a slow breath out, and an adult who stays close instead of fixing it immediately.

Show the data as a table
Sign of flourishingValue
Smiles and laughs99%
Affectionate and tender with parents or caregivers96%
Shows interest and curiosity in learning new things96%
Bounces back quickly when things do not go their way83%
All four signs of flourishing79%

Source and method

Source: CDC, Children's Mental Health data (National Survey of Children's Health 2023–2024, via the Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative Data Resource Center). License: Public domain (U.S. Government work); NSCH data courtesy of CAHMI, childhealthdata.org.

Percentages as published by CDC from the National Survey of Children's Health 2023–2024, children aged 6 months to 5 years, parent report ("usually" or "always"). Margins of error are not published on this page, so none are shown.

Download the data (CSV)

The Wave (lesson 6) teaches that a big feeling rises, peaks and passes; the Pause Button (lesson 4) is the practice for the moment after something goes wrong.

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